Waterfelon, you think you’re so fresh and juicy, and all that matters in this whole world is your presence at the neighborhood picnic. Well, I’ll tell you what, you ain’t shit to me… you hear me? I hope your seeds are actually tiny ears so that you can hear me when I say, you are so mealy it makes me want to die a slow, painful death.

I would like to add though, the watermelon Jolly Ranchers are the BEST flavor on earth; however, we are lying to ourselves by confusing the sweet and sour tang of those jollies to the watery hell hole that is the hollow-headed retard of the fruit family.


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