I’m an inactive man of action.
I threw up on someone by myself
I’m a sheep in wolf’s clothing
Vintage is not what it used to be
I wear a rape whistle that only dogs can hear.
Never date a guy who owns a surfboard in a land-locked state.
The Lottery is the only sure way to make a buck these days.
Dumb people who hang around smart people and just say “ah, that’s what I was gonna say!”
Never eat chips with headphones on, there’s no way of telling how loud you’re being.
Avoid, at all cost, the expression “a gazillion”.
Helen Keller and Anne Frank are the same person.
What should we think of grown men who drink strawberry banana juice?
Our generation is a group of inactive activists.
Expiring for love is beautiful but stupid
Turn soft and lovely any time you have a chance