Peter Luger and the Porterhouse Breakdown

Firstly, we made sure that Gabbie changed into her Chanel ballet flats,and stowed her soggy sneakers. Two whiskeys and sodas and Mr. and Mrs. Vener were swept away to their quiet table in the corner, by the coat rack, and the handicap bathroom. The dark wood paneling, and quintessential Teuonic- ( refers to the germanic people) styled parlor rooms were completely exposed by the solar capacity of the 1,000 watt chandeliers. In this light the room lacked all it’s possible charming qualities, similar to visiting a dive bar in the light of day. This sort of lighting is neither flattering nor nice.

I have never lost a bet to a Montenegran man (Danny), and I’m not about to start.

In a state of flub after having eaten the entire rear quarter of a cow, I realized my personal achievement that night. I had finished the Porterhouse for two, hooray! I won the bet. This is up there with going to school in Paris, and traveling to Niger. This moment evolved into me escaping to the bathroom for an immediate yet foreseen bowel movement. Upon returning from the bathroom, I’m confused and leery of the smirk on Mrs. Vener’s painted face. Was I in the bathroom too long? I shirked over to the table to examine the dry T-bone on the center of the table. It dawned on me that I had been tricked, from Mrs. Vener I could expect this- but from Danny?! That swatch of meat in the crook of the bone had been discovered, exhumed and brought into the light, literally. I had deliberately avoided that bit, too full, too proud. A bet is a bet however, I have learned that from my grandmother. Alas, I tongue and toothed that sinuous bit until only a rubbery fishnet of tough fat remained. I’m a winner dammit. Christmas eve dinner=success.

You don’t know the address of your place of work afters 7 years of employment?

We started with:

Baked potato————————————dry

Bread basket————————————good

Tomato and onion salad————————-crude

Shrimp—————————————–not shrimpy

Fries——————————————-neither here nor there

Famous steak sauce—————————-sickly sweet

Chocolate coins and coffee———————-awesome


The porterhouse for 2————————–exciting- expertly seared crust (crisp, chewy, and charred). definitive cuisson, and lovely red center.

Creamed Spinach——————————-dairy free

Bacon appetizer——————————–bold

Ice water—————————————late

Debit cards accepted as of Nov. 2009 (who knew?) Also, Peter Luger credit cards welcomed

Oh also, yellow cake and chocolate frosting at the house an hour later——–decadent.


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