Category Archives: Fruit Forward

Reworking the Fruit Salad | Plums & Blueberries


Wake Up!


To Crack a Coconut

Bergamot Orange

This orange is described as being less sour than a lemon, but more bitter than a grapefruit. Along with black tea, Bergamot is the prominent flavoring in Earl Grey tea. Production of this fruit is mostly limited to the Calabria region of Italy, France, and The Ivory Coast.

Cherimoya: “The Most Delicious Fruit Known to Men”


The Cherimoya is native to the Andean Highlands of Bolivia, Chile, Colombia, Ecuador and Peru. The exterior has a similar shape to an artichoke and even has the same purple coloration. The interior is custard-like, and has canals throughout that house the black seeds. Cherimoya derives from the Quechua word chirimuya, or “cold seeds” because of its ability to thrive at high altitudes.

The flavor is hard to put your finger on. It is somewhere between banana, pineapple, papaya, peach, and strawberry. Specific I know; perhaps we leave the generic descriptors aside, and call it Cherimoya. Part of it’s glory is it’s mystery. Mark Twain cited the Cherimoya in The Sacramento Daily Union, October 25, 1866,“The most delicious fruit known to men”; it has also been called a “masterpiece of nature” by explorer and geographer Thaddäus Haenke.


Fruit Forward: Pluots


Check out the outcome of an upcoming trend in genetic manipulation. Complex cross hybrids of complimentary fruits. This inbreeding might eventually lead to a stray third arm; however, for the moment they are simply delicious. Get your hands on a couple of these, and you will be a believer. Colored like a plum with the same acidity and tart crisp skin, but with mellow, and creamy notes of an apricot. Invented in the late 20th century by fruit biologist Floyd Zeiger

It’s hit or miss with cross hybrids, sometimes it’s delicious, like the Pluot, and sometimes you’re born without an ear. I say it’s worth a shot.

Learn your Fruits!

Fruit Forward: Mirabelles


Waterfelon, you think you’re so fresh and juicy, and all that matters in this whole world is your presence at the neighborhood picnic. Well, I’ll tell you what, you ain’t shit to me… you hear me? I hope your seeds are actually tiny ears so that you can hear me when I say, you are so mealy it makes me want to die a slow, painful death.

I would like to add though, the watermelon Jolly Ranchers are the BEST flavor on earth; however, we are lying to ourselves by confusing the sweet and sour tang of those jollies to the watery hell hole that is the hollow-headed retard of the fruit family.